my feelings on my life

 since the age of 6 years of age 

i have gone through my life wondering/thinking

why am i here /why am i just exsisting

and at the age of 6 to feel this at a early age for me was like that my life had already been taken before i could start to feel the true meaning of what my life meant to me

and as i was growing and starting to feel my feet i used to get so frustrated with my self because all i wonted was to understand like other kids and be able to write my own work instead of coping

when i was 15 i so wanted to pass my child care exam and i failed again and again just because i knew i was diffrent

all i ever wanted in my life was my mom but circumstances didnt let me and my mom have the relationship i so desperatly needed

and as i grew in to a woman i was scared and i just wanted to stop having to fight the system

my mom 

and myself

but i didnt know how i could do this untill me as a woman became a mom

i had never felt love my entire life 

what it felt like 

what it would feel like 

i was so confused 

but my children made this one thing happen for me 

when my daughter held my face and kissed me on the lips and said mommy i love you 

my heart just felt diffrent and the tears just rolled down my cheeks

but since the day i felt the love from my children made me realize 

that i am a person and i do belong 

and i know the reason why im in this world know its to be a mom

and me and children from the day i brought the gifts in to the world that i was given i swore i would 

protect

love unconditionally

and be there no matter what

and i am here know

but in 2012 my life and my familys life was just turned up side down 

and all my past id forgotten about just came flooding back 

and it was make or break

or give up or fight

well i swore id never give up on my kids 

like my family gave up on me 

so know im fighting for my life again 

but i keep thinking when am me and my children going to be let to be family and life a life 

we all deserve 

so no matter how hard i get knocked down i will always get back up harder 

because i brough my children in to this world and i will not let them go out of this world before there time

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2 thoughts on “my feelings on my life

  1. Pingback: my feelings on my life | pricekatie

  2. Pingback: my feelings on my life | pricekatie

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